On the freeway in a rented car, SVW reads a sign:
"AMBER ALERT WHITE SEDAN LIC PLATE 9937 AJ OR 9937 OJ". Are we in a white sedan? We are in a white sedan. That is not good.

I love that geese are born with clown horns. It makes them the funniest bird.
- Tom R.

(There was much urinating in the Great Salt Lake while we were shooting, as base camp was 25 minutes away. I started to think it was lame.)
Byron: I need to pee.
Bette: Hold it in like the girls have to do all day.
Derek: Yeah, that's what I do.
Bette: Grow up and be a girl.
Derek: Yeah, be a girl like Babetta and I!

Bette: Hey look! My fly is down!

Jennie: I enjoyed it.

Bette, has anybody ever told you you look like a little dinosaur?
- Phil Goodwin

"They, like Ewan and Nicole are maybe going to get together in a Come What May kind of thing."

"Improve the shining moments. They all shine, but it's a matter of perception."

"I don't know anything about Greek or Latin, except that part in School of Rock where they talk about Latin."

"I hate my body. I hate my life. There's no potential for me. Edward, Edward, Edward."

"People are especially dumb about books. Which is ironic."

"I was about to say something unnecessary about Miley Cyrus."

"You cannot skip the journey, it's what we're living for."

-Dean D.

"I'm pregnant. It's yours."
-Alex C.

"It's like... Pearl Harbor. It's been...whatevered. You know. Sadness."
-Babetta (describing the synopsis of J. Schwarz's movie)

"I think the Nazis ruined it for me..."
-Babetta

He's a deek. Sorry, that's a combination word.
- Tom Russell

Tell all of my new Mormon friends they win the Stanley Cup of praying!
- Margot Kidder

Hot dog! Hot dog hamburgers! That's a phrase that I say.
- Tom R.

I'm replacing that country with one that makes sense. Cambodia is now England.
- Tom R.

"Dangit. I hate when I can't use my Iron Man words of advice."

"He's cool, I'd make films with him, just not..."
"Babies?"

-girl in my ward

Tom R: John's a handsome man. Isn't he a handsome man?
Me: He is a handsome man.
Tom R: Now Derek isn't the most handsome man here. How does it feel, Derek, to be like the rest of us mere mortals?
Derek: I feel like...I wanna go get some yogurt.
Tom R: Yeah. Exactly. Now you know how I feel. I want yogurt all the time.

I was sitting on the curb at the MPS trying to get internet when Tom Lefler comes walking out the door.
T.Lef: What are you doing out here? Don't you want to go sit inside?
Me: Oh, I'm trying to get internet.
T.Lef: Can't you get that sitting on a couch?
Me: Oh, I'm fine. I feel more at home out here on the streets.
T.Lef: Really?! All right... I'll remember that.

He probably will too.

While they are setting up a shot, Tom turns to me and says:

I feel...like...I should be able to dance...but...I can't.
(A pause, then quietly)
Dammit, I can't!

"you guys, her lips are bigger than my head."

-c. branning

"they've got 60 seconds left. that means ten minutes!"

-child actor